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Bright Pink Twinkies

Bright pink Twinkies with coconut.

I promise I haven’t had one in about three years.

But, the other day as I was standing in line at the grocery store with my daughter and she haphazardly proclaimed: “Ohhh, these are my favorite”, while eyeballing a hostess cupcake; I inwardly smiled and was immediately envisioning bright pink Twinkies with coconut.

I got caught up in a moment of gratitude.

Grateful for my daughter’s company and accompanying confession.

Grateful for the gift of taste buds.

Grateful because often when I consume things they taste like a place or a day…
It is a wonderful way to be excessively grateful (if that’s possible) on any given day.

Yes, that means I enjoy eating:) Especially, with people that enjoy eating a good meal as well.

Sometimes, most of the time, it’s the company that makes the meal so grand.

So, bright pink Twinkies… they taste like summer time!

And, the Very Berry hibiscus cooler, at Starbucks…definitely tastes like sunshine!

Sometimes Hawaii 🙂

That crunchy sweet cinnamon concoction on coffee cake… for sure, like Christmas!

Oh, and chicken pot pies, like a warm blanket while I’m curled up on the couch.

I could go on… but,  I won’t:)

Here’s hoping today finds you deep in the throws of gratitude, whatever it may be you’re feasting on.

1 Corinthian 10:31


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Turn again…

I have a friend who’s taking a creative writing class; he was kind enough to share with me some of what’s he’s been doing this semester.

As I read, I was struck by a line he wrote on entering into a picturesque inlet near Anchorage.
.It went like this:

“The scenery is too grand for my puny camera.  I commit the Land to memory.  We ascend into the Turnagain Pass“…

I stalled, lingering on the words: “the scenery is too grand”… (what I have to take it all in will never do)…

“I commit the Land to memory”…(I must find a better way, allow it to be imprinted with more permanence)…

“We ascend”…


So many wonderful things begin flooding in but louder than any, these inspired words from Solomon: “He has set eternity in their hearts”.

I’ve had moments like what my friend described so succinctly.

Have you?

A moment when you are so caught up in the beauty of what your eyes are taking in;

What your heart is savoring that it just feels too big. Too vast. Too wonderful.

I feel puny. And, I want to capture it so I can look back at it time and time again fearing I may never see quite the same thing again.

Then the realization hits; the photo will never do it justice.

The vibrancy of it, the sweetness of it…It’s only a shadow.

I have no idea what my friends thought process was as he remembered and wrote.

But, I am so grateful to hear God’s voice in his writing.

Jesus said to His disciples: “Blessed are the eyes that see what you see”.

There are sacred moments when we are given a glimpse of what’s to come.

A taste.

God’s Kingdom come.

It’s Beautiful. It’s Good. It’s Glorious.

We commit it to memory.

This beautiful Land.

At times it’s too much to take in.

In that moment we are made grossly aware of the inadequacy of our instruments and the fragility of the vessel that’s been commissioned to carry it.

If we are wise, we find pause in that moment. Say thank you and know we have indeed been called.

“I have much more to say to you, but you can not bear it now” our Savior states;

Yet, in His revealing His voice beckons: “Come up here”.

We attempt to make the ascent.

In so doing we know we must in fact turn.

Turn again.

Turn away; From where we’ve been and turn toward where we’ve been invited.

How can we not, for what we’ve been shown is glorious.

It is not a shadow but reality.

The reality of where we will dwell.

That is the Eternal One.


Ecclesiastes 3:11 // Luke 10:23 // John 16:12 // Col 2:17 // Heb 10:1 // Rev 4:1 //Rev 11:12

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Two thoughts…

There were two thoughts that simultaneously collided today, my realization that September is National Suicide Prevention month and an article, from a Christian blog I read (HelpMeBelieveblog), entitled “Do we really get to choose?” Noting, the latter didn’t necessarily relate to the former in it’s content.

Immediately, however, it prompted a quick Google search,on my part, of the Hebrew word for “choose”; I love language and have grown fond of studying the more nuanced Hebrew translation of certain words. The search landed me on a word study from Skip Moen which sited the scripture from Deuteronomy 30: 19-20: “Now I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death. Now, choose life”.

Recollection began converging… at the words “choose life”…

See, I’m familiar with the topic of suicide because my grandfather “chose death”.
He took his life, in November of 1996, with a single gun shot wound to his head.
Following, in a round about way, in September of 2017, by my dad, who made a choice to let his life slip away.

Needless to say, this is something I’ve talked with the Lord about. Cried to the Lord about and ultimately wrestled with Him about. Skip titled this an “essential tension”.

Serving the Lord, who is Life, and being faced with those, within our own, who make a choice not to live.

In both cases my heart ached in ways I hadn’t experienced before. Not just for the loss I had to realize had come to pass, but moreso as I prayed through the depth of despair these two men in my life carried at the end of their earthly lives. In both cases, in the offering of those prayers, the Comforter came immediately and swiftly. Amen.

Here’s the thing, it was easy, in a sense, to understand the despair that could have gripped my grandfather, nudging him into that final decision. He was a decorated WW2 veteran, 25 year serviceman at the USPS and gifted musician. Now, in the grips of severe emphysema, he was completely dependent on an oxygen tank tethered to him 24hrs a day, who struggled to walk the 7 paces necessary to his bedroom. He spent the last 6 months of his life sleeping on his couch in an upright position just so he could get a few hours sleep.

Part of me sympathized, it was not a quality of life you would wish on anyone.

Had he made some choices that lead there. Yes.

Yet, I contended, wasn’t his choice every day prior to that, a choice to live?

I prayed it counted as such.

I pray it every time i think of the struggle those gripped with depression and suicidal thoughts battle with.

It is a sincere and heartfelt burden.

That was a part of the wrestling.
Through it, my heart and mind came to rest on a place that God’s mercy is greater than a person’s choice in any given moment.

Do I know this to be absolutely true. No.

Do I, by faith, believe it can be. Yes.

Because, when I immerse myself in God’s word I see time and time again that God CHOOSES to be merciful.
Not just to His own. To all.
God chooses.
Man must also choose.
But, God’s choosing is always the grandest act.

So often I find my perspective
is self-centric. I think about it from a point that originates with the choices I need to make, day in and day out. I don’t necessarily think that’s a bad thing, after all our choices carry eternal weight. It’s just not the view that offers the most enlightened view when walking through the darker places.

Today, I was reminded, once again, the most accurate perspective is always the one from above.


Yes, you and I must choose.
Ultimately, and more importantly though God chooses:

He chooses to be merciful.

He chooses to be kind.

He chose to send His Son.

And, His Son chose to die,
so that we might choose to live.

I can say, with every ounce of my being, I’m exceedingly sorry if you’ve lost someone by suicide. I understand.

I can also say, I believe, with every ounce of my being, that Jesus makes a way, where some may think there is none.

I’d also like to think our choice each morning to choose life and obedience to God; to allow our hearts to be malleable in His hand, is a declaration on behalf of each of those who are unable to when they are caught in that moment of weakness and cry out: “no more”.

We are never alone. I can say that with confidence, because of His promises. God’s word says Elijah thought he was the only one left… and it turned out God had 7,000 others. Jonah cried out to have the Lord take his life. So did Job, Jeremiah and even Moses.

God is not unaware of our weakness and inward sufferings.

Yet, we are never alone. We are never forsaken.

If this is a truth you have yet to know, you’re welcome to reach out to me if you need to. I don’t have many answers but I can share with you the reason for the hope I have.

Friends, may it be well with you today and every day and with those you love and pray for.

Love and blessings,

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Mighty to save…

On worshipping to “Save Me” (Stefany Gretzinger)…

“My weakness is my honor not my shame
Leaning is my portion not my pain
I was frantic till You changed the pace
You won’t give me more than I can take”

There’s a way a lyric catches in your throat.
Somehow the truth in that I can’t explain. It’s always been that way with me.
Usually coming rather unexpectedly. Sometimes it’s a truth I want to profess, other times a thing I simply can’t seem to find the words to confess.
It’s good the Lord knows my heart.
We were made to worship.
We were made to bring Him glory.

There has been a lingering thought that gently beats against the interior of my chest every now and again.
This song helps it percolate to the surface.
I had read the book “Eve” some time ago. It’s written by the same author as “The Shack”.
I read a lot.
Often that means my recollection of the entirety of the book fails me.
Usually, because one or two things will ring true and that is what settles in.
It illumines the place that needed it’s light. And, it is brought to remembrance when necessary.
So it was with the book “Eve”.
It is one of those things that once the match is struck and the flicker reveals it can not be unseen.
Even if in the revealing the light was dim.
That moment came at a place in the book where the author makes a point of the fact that Eve, the Woman, the Ezer Kenegdo, was brought forth in the garden.
The garden of Eden.
God’s garden.
Not placed into it, like Man.
Brought forth of the Man, within the garden.
It may seem a minor thing, but somehow, though admittedly I don’t completely know why, I know this is significant.
Oh, the mystery.
I do think it lends to the reason for our desire, as women especially, toward romantic overtures.
And, I consider it a great privilege that, as a woman, and, for me, as a wife, this is an imagery that is so very easy for me to embrace.
It is a perpetual imagery woven throughout God’s word and the way the Lord chooses to reveal Himself.
Thus, I will confess I am a “hopeful” romantic.
Acknowledging, likewise, that before becoming a mother, or a wife, I was firstly born a daughter.
It feels important to state I consider it foolish to think that all things can be romanticized. I promise, though admittedly my own life has been marked by much favor and God’s care, that’s not what I’m implying here.
I have witnessed to many tears, held too many hands when words fail to comfort and felt the sting of chapter 3.
Yet, we would be hard pressed to deny that the world has long been yearning for the restoration of the Truth set forth in the garden.
Eden restored.
All things pristine.
All things rightly ordered.
Perfect and continual companionship with God.
We carry that desire.
That can’t be by accident.
God does nothing by accident.
God’s ways are perfect.
God’s Word, flawless.
This we are invited to remember.
That, I’m convinced, is half the battle; the other half is in the forgetting.
The LORD God knows our deepest desires.
He commands us to seek, yet makes us the pursued.
Servants, we may well be called.
Yet, He says He has written our names on His hands.
God is:
Lover of our soul.
Beloved of our heart.

Jer 17:10//John 4:23//Isaiah 43:7//
Gen 2:18//Rom 3:23-24//Rev 22//Psalm 20//
Phil 3:13-14

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An amalgam…

I love when a thought converges all at once from like 7 different places…a song, a word, a conversation with a friend…then boom! A thought swiftly and sweetly gives way to a vision…

That was my gift yesterday ~

I was driving with my kiddos…pondering the future, thinking about a friend who talks a lot about the future, reflecting on the words to a song called “the future” and then I looked over and saw it…a license plate, it read: noend2(heart).

I smiled.

Love. It’s eternal. And, by eternal I mean it’ll be there, tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.

It’s the one thing that outlasts everything. And, it’s promised.

Then it came. Vibrant and spontaneous and full of life.

Clearly, I could see a person being lifted up, feet off the ground, upper torso, arms and face lifted up as if in the heavens. In the upper half the colors bursting, vivid and fluid as if alive. The lower half in black and white and greys. Their right hand ever so slightly reaching, gently touching the color and the color flowing down into the black and white and grey filling in the colorless lines


It was a welcomed gift.

Needed. Undeserved. Relished.

Forever treasured.

I have been in seasons of wilderness before. But none quite as heroically relentless in it’s pursuit of my attentions as the one recently. This one has felt like the wrappings of those black and white and greys. Drab and ashen.

This vision then was much more than a momentary thought. It was a hope. Deeply set. It is the type of vision that keeps one from perishing.

I find this is often the way my Maker speaks to me these days.

An impression will rise in my bones or in a vision, it’ll linger and then expand, like the rings of water that have been met by a stone.

They are never just for me. They are for you too. Meant to resonate. Meant to awaken. Meant to invite.

Jeremiah 31:2-3/Luke 17:21/1John4:7-8/Proverbs 29:18/John 3:13/Revelation 19:9